When you spend your whole life building an image of yourself, based on outside validation, you don't know who you really are.You don't know what is important to you because you are busy assessing how the environment reacts to you (what your boss, your partner, your friends say, if it will be okay to do this or that) and you lose control over your own thoughts and actions and givethe powerof your life into other people's hands.
Confidence appears when you return your need and desire for approval and acceptance back toyourself as well as the wish to be loved and liked (which are completely normal needs). You need to learn to give these things to yourself before you seek them outside. The moment you bring them back and create them from the inside out, then you will feel the true nature and power of the confidence. Then you create your source of confidence.
Here is what you have to remember: you weren't born with self-doubt. In fact, it is just the opposite. You were born with inner confidence. For example, when you were learning to walk, which you probably don't remember, you fell at least 17 times. And after you fell so many times, I don't believe you stayed on the floor and said to yourself, "I am never going to learn to walk, I'd rather stay lying here in my diaper. That's life." No, that is not what happened. On the contrary, you had the desire to continue, to walk, to stand up. You have confident spirit, body and mind. It is in our DNA. I put it that way on purpose - to emphasize that when I work with someone in order for them to gain more confidence, we actually start by remembering that we are already confident by touching our innate one.
And one more thing that is important to remember. Going through moments of uncertainty and fear is normal. It means that you try, grow, go outside your "comfort zone" in order to become the person you want to be. Do you know where insecurity lives? It lives in your thoughts, in your head. And it grows the more you think about it. And do you know where confidence lives? Confidence lives in your actions, in doing, in trying. Every time you try, yes, it might not work the first time. You can even fail or ridicule yourself, you can make mistakes. And? It is exactly in these moments that you not only grow and discover your strengthsbut youalso create your source of confidence that will always serve you. Just like when you were learning to walk. You have learned one important thing: you try, you fall, you stand up and try again until it works, day after day. So what will be your first step now?